The Difficult Advice is always for Others

01 May 17

It’s always easy to give advice but harder to heed it or so I have heard it said. But the more I see in life, the more I realize that it is critical that one make their own decisions so they have no regrets rather than relying on the advice of those that may not live to regret it. It is easy to give advice in situations where you have no emotion and no personal ties and maybe that is the best practical advice, but is that advice really what is best for you? The only person that can answer that is you!!!

No matter how much someone loves and cares about you, they will never understand the depth of what you feel towards another individual and will give you advice accordingly. But, in those identical situations, that same person may do the exact opposite of what they advised you to do when it comes to their own near and dear ones. And you may be left wondering why the difference in action and behavior? It is because very few people have the ability to love you in a way where they can feel what you feel for your loved ones. And yet those same people may expect you to love their loved ones the way they love them, because the only feeling they are capable of acknowledging as being real or worth it is their own. This is why it becomes critical that you form your own perspectives of what is important whether it be a relationship, a function to attend, an invitation you send, or any other such matter. You may be inclined to form your opinion of others based on what you family, friends, significant other, children, etc. think of that person and may be inclined to make decisions on what is important to attend on those same external relationships but at the end of the day, the only person that has to live with those decisions is you end the only person that will have any regrets with the decisions made is you.

I can’t remember where I heard this quote but it rings true to this day, “It’s so ironic. The people in my life who say, ‘I’m always going to be hare for you.’ Are the ones that walk away first.” And that quote can be changed to ring true in many other ways: those that say I’d never do that to you are the first to do that to you; those say I wouldn’t do that if I were you are the first do it; those that say it is not okay for you to do this are the first to go do it when they have an opportunity; and it goes on and on and on. And it all boils down to the same reason. The difficult advice is always for other, because when faced with those same difficult choices, most people take their feelings, relationships, emotions, into account and make a ‘clouded judgment’ decision. However, what is clouded from a practical perspective may be the best decision they made for their own relationships. However, they will continue to cloud your judgment because their emotions aren’t at stake and if you are not strong enough to stand up for what you feel, you will become a pawn moved at the will of those you rely on for advice with no identity, stature, or relationships of your own left. And those same that moved you for their benefit will leave you alone and struggling when you need them the most to do right by their own relationships, wondering who else might have been by your side had you not relied on those that you trusted for advice on how to handle your relationships. As the summer hits us and gives us the opportunity to take a little break, cherish and make time for those people and things that you love and follow the only advice worth following-your own!